Love
What is love? The question mankind has been trying to answer for pretty much all of time. Countless books, magazines, songs, movies and people have tried to explain love. But part of what makes love so good and amazing is that you can't really explain it. And you can't really understand or always control it. However, over the course of time we've developed some attributes of love. Our American culture today especially worships love. We love to be in love. And we love to be loved. But like so many other good and perfect things, our culture has perverted and twisted what love truly is.
Think about it. In our culture today, love is a very selfish things. So often we hear phrases like "Don't I deserve to be happy?" and "What about my needs?" We are naturally, as human beings, very selfish. And unfortunately, this tendency is twice as damaging in a romantic relationship. Our society today tells us to get what we can in love and get out. Especially in marriage. We live in a country where disposable families have become the norm. "Aren't happy in your current situation? Find someone else who makes you happy!" But think about how messed up that is. This is where people usually pull out the "Don't I deserve to be happy?" line. But what about the person you are married to? Don't they deserve to be happy? What about the kids that you may or may not have yet? Don't they deserve to be happy? Selfishness has ripped apart countless families and it's heartbreaking. Our culture today has chosen and elevated a self-centered "how can you serve me?" mentality in lieu of the commitment required for a strong healthy marriage. Of course the rules are a little different if you aren't married. You don't have any commitment to hold to. So our society tells singles to run wild and have fun! Explore the physical side of love and experiment with lots of different people! You're free from commitment so live like it! But are we singles really free from commitment? What about our commitment to our future spouse? What about our commitment to God? In truth we all have commitments. Whether or not we live for them is up to us.
To be honest none of us really deserve to be happy. We, as sinful, rebellious human beings, deserve death and hell as our eternal punishment. Yet we strut around like self-righteous peacocks. Like parasites looking for someone to make us happy. But truthfully we can never find our joy in another human being. We can find happiness and experience joy in one another, but we can't have our source of joy be another person. Because we are all messed up humans. No matter how in love you are with someone, they will fail you at some point. Not to say that love is bad and that we should avoid it at all costs. No! Love can be a beautiful, inspiring thing. But it is not without it's hardships. That's where commitment comes in. Feelings come and go. That warm fuzzy feeling you get by being with someone won't last forever. And when that time comes, what will you be left standing on? Will your relationship/marriage be based off of the selfish, sinful passions of the flesh? Or will it be based off of the commitment of two people clinging to God and each other?
The truth is that in any strong, successful relationship/marriage, the two people involved have to be more in love with God than they are with each other. And I'll be first to admit that that's hard. It's much easier to love and feel affection for another physical human being who's right next to you than an unseen God. But think about how much God loves us! He loves so much more than another person ever could! He gave His life for us! And not because we loved Him, we hated Him! We couldn't have been further from Him! But He loved us and died for us all the same. Because He loves us that much.
The Bible paints us a different picture of love: "Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things." How different from the world's view of love is that? It's unfathomable! We are called to love unselfishly. The only way we can do that is with God. We are called to put others ahead of ourselves. To put the person you are in love with above yourself. To say to them: "I forsake all others and I commit myself to you." To lay down your life for that person. To put their needs above your own. To think not of yourself but of them. To not be afraid to steer them towards God even when it hurts. To trust them unconditionally. To pray for them daily. To love them always. Regardless of circumstances. What if we all loved like that? Imagine how much better the world would be...
Think about it. In our culture today, love is a very selfish things. So often we hear phrases like "Don't I deserve to be happy?" and "What about my needs?" We are naturally, as human beings, very selfish. And unfortunately, this tendency is twice as damaging in a romantic relationship. Our society today tells us to get what we can in love and get out. Especially in marriage. We live in a country where disposable families have become the norm. "Aren't happy in your current situation? Find someone else who makes you happy!" But think about how messed up that is. This is where people usually pull out the "Don't I deserve to be happy?" line. But what about the person you are married to? Don't they deserve to be happy? What about the kids that you may or may not have yet? Don't they deserve to be happy? Selfishness has ripped apart countless families and it's heartbreaking. Our culture today has chosen and elevated a self-centered "how can you serve me?" mentality in lieu of the commitment required for a strong healthy marriage. Of course the rules are a little different if you aren't married. You don't have any commitment to hold to. So our society tells singles to run wild and have fun! Explore the physical side of love and experiment with lots of different people! You're free from commitment so live like it! But are we singles really free from commitment? What about our commitment to our future spouse? What about our commitment to God? In truth we all have commitments. Whether or not we live for them is up to us.
To be honest none of us really deserve to be happy. We, as sinful, rebellious human beings, deserve death and hell as our eternal punishment. Yet we strut around like self-righteous peacocks. Like parasites looking for someone to make us happy. But truthfully we can never find our joy in another human being. We can find happiness and experience joy in one another, but we can't have our source of joy be another person. Because we are all messed up humans. No matter how in love you are with someone, they will fail you at some point. Not to say that love is bad and that we should avoid it at all costs. No! Love can be a beautiful, inspiring thing. But it is not without it's hardships. That's where commitment comes in. Feelings come and go. That warm fuzzy feeling you get by being with someone won't last forever. And when that time comes, what will you be left standing on? Will your relationship/marriage be based off of the selfish, sinful passions of the flesh? Or will it be based off of the commitment of two people clinging to God and each other?
The truth is that in any strong, successful relationship/marriage, the two people involved have to be more in love with God than they are with each other. And I'll be first to admit that that's hard. It's much easier to love and feel affection for another physical human being who's right next to you than an unseen God. But think about how much God loves us! He loves so much more than another person ever could! He gave His life for us! And not because we loved Him, we hated Him! We couldn't have been further from Him! But He loved us and died for us all the same. Because He loves us that much.
The Bible paints us a different picture of love: "Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things." How different from the world's view of love is that? It's unfathomable! We are called to love unselfishly. The only way we can do that is with God. We are called to put others ahead of ourselves. To put the person you are in love with above yourself. To say to them: "I forsake all others and I commit myself to you." To lay down your life for that person. To put their needs above your own. To think not of yourself but of them. To not be afraid to steer them towards God even when it hurts. To trust them unconditionally. To pray for them daily. To love them always. Regardless of circumstances. What if we all loved like that? Imagine how much better the world would be...
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